Because I am not really a fan of Valentines Day I am not going to offer you any quotes of love or any stories about saints. What I am going to offer you is a story, a true story that actually took place in the real world where cherubs and cupids do not reside. It is not a pretty story, nor will it make you feel like laying next to your lover, it is sad, but nonetheless it is a part of our history. It should be spoken so the people who lost their lives on that tragic day are not forgotten.

For a city that is so filled with the history of crime, there has been little preservation of the landmarks that were once so important to the legend of the mob in Chicago. Gone are the landmarks like the Lexington Hotel, where Al Capone kept the fifth floor suite and used the place as his headquarters. But most tragic, at least to crime buffs, was the destruction of the warehouse that was located at 2122 North Clark Street. It was here, on Valentine's Day 1929, that the most spectacular mob hit in gangland history took place..... the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

The building was called the S-M-C Cartage Company and was a red, brick structure on Clark Street. The events that led to the massacre began on the morning of the 14th. A group of men had gathered at the warehouse that morning, set up by a Detroit gangster who told Moran that a truck was on its way to Chicago.
One of them was Johnny May, an ex-safecracker who had been hired by George "Bugs" Moran as an auto mechanic. He was working on a truck that morning, with his dog tied to the bumper, while six other men waited for the truck of hijacked whiskey to arrive. The men were Frank and Pete Gusenberg, who were supposed to meet Moran and pick up two empty trucks to drive to Detroit and pick up smuggled Canadian whiskey; James Clark, Moran's brother-in-law; Adam Heyer; Al Weinshank; and Reinhardt Schwimmer, a young optometrist who had befriended Moran and hung around the liquor warehouse just for the thrill of rubbing shoulders with gangsters.
Bugs Moran was already late for the morning meeting. He was due to arrive at 10:30 but didn't even leave for the rendezvous, in the company of Willie Marks and Ted Newberry, until several minutes after that.

While the seven men waited inside of the warehouse, they had no idea that a police car had pulled up outside, or that Moran had spotted the car and had quickly taken cover. Five men got out of the police car, three of them in uniforms and two in civilian clothing. They entered the building and a few moments later, the clatter of machine gun fire broke the stillness of the snowy morning. Soon after, five figures emerged and they drove away. May's dog, inside of the warehouse, was barking and howling and when neighbors went to check and see what was going on... they discovered a bloody murder scene.

Moran's men had been lined up against the rear wall of the garage and had been sprayed with machine-guns. They killed all seven of them but had missed Bugs Moran. He had figured the arrival of the police car to be some sort of shakedown and had hung back. When the machine gunning started, he, Marks and Newberry had fled. The murders broke the power of the North Side gang and Moran correctly blamed Al Capone. No one will probably ever know who the actual shooters were, but one of them was probably Machine Gun McGurn, one of Capone's most trusted men.

Surprisingly, while Moran quickly targeted Capone as ordering the hit, the authorities were baffled. Capone had been in Florida at the time of the massacre and when hearing the news, he stated, "the only man who kills like that is Bugs Moran". At the same time, Moran was proclaiming that "only Capone kills guys like that".
Moran was right.... Capone had been behind the killing and this was perhaps the act that finally began the decline of Capone's criminal empire. He had just gone too far and the authorities, and even Capone's adoring public, were ready to put an end to the bootleg wars.

Chicago, in its own style, memorialized the warehouse on Clark Street. The place became a tourist attraction and the newspapers even printed the photos of the corpses upside-down so that readers would not have to turn their papers around to identify the bodies.
In 1949, the front portion of the S-M-G Garage was turned into an antique furniture storage business by a couple who had no idea of the building's bloody past. They soon found that the place was visited much more by tourists and curiosity-seekers than by customers and eventually closed the business.
In 1967, the building was demolished. However, the bricks from the bullet-marked rear wall were purchased and saved by a Canadian businessman. In 1972, he opened a night club with a Roaring 20's theme and rebuilt the wall, for some strange reason, in the men's restroom. Three nights each week, women were allowed to peek inside at this macabre attraction.

The club continued to operate for a few years and when it closed the owner placed the 417 bricks into storage. He then offered them for sale with a written account of the massacre. He sold the bricks for $1000 each, but soon found that he was getting back as many as he sold. It seemed that anyone who bought one of the bricks was suddenly stricken with bad luck in the form of illness, financial ruin, divorce and even death.
According to the stories, the bricks themselves had somehow been infested with the powerful negative energy of the massacre!
Whatever became of the rest of the bricks is unknown..........
Or that's what the legend says....

In recent years, other bricks have emerged that claim to have come from the wall. These were not bricks purchased from Patey but were smuggled out of the lot by construction workers and curiosity-seekers. It was said that from these bricks come the legends of misfortune and bad luck. Are these bricks authentic? The owners say they are... but you'll have to judge for yourself!

Whatever the legend of the bricks themselves and whether or not they have somehow been "haunted" by what happened, there is little doubt about the site on Clark Street itself. Even today, people walking along the street at night have reported the sounds of screams and machine guns as they pass the site. The building is long gone but the area is marked as a fenced-off lawn that belongs to the nearby nursing home. Five trees are scattered along the place in a line and the one in the middle marks the location where the rear wall once stood.

Passerby often report these strange sounds and the indescribable feeling of fear as they walk past. Those who are accompanied by dogs report their share of strangeness too.... Animals appear to be especially bothered by this piece of lawn, sometimes barking and howling, sometimes whining in fear. Their sense of what happened here many years ago seems to be much greater than our own.

To hear more about The St. Valentines Day Massacre check out Prairie Ghosts.

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

I cannot believe how big my baby boy is getting. Yesterday I took him to get his first haircut, which he HATED. He ended up with a cross between a mullet and a mohawk. I just couldn't bring myself to cut off his curls.
When I look at him I realize just how fast time with him is going to pass for me. It seems that everyday when I wake up I meet a different boy, a smarter boy, a bigger boy, a sillier and sarcastic boy.
I feel like crying sometimes because I will never have my little baby back but the evolution of Catcher is so amazing to watch in wonder.
Sometimes I have a hard time with being a stay at home mom. These times usually are caused by lack of seeing my husband or I am deathly ill. Other than those particular times I cannot imagine doing anything else.
I am so FORTUNATE to be able to stay home everyday with Catcher. I am so FORTUNATE to be able to actively participate in his life and his learning.

Who would have ever thought that I, once a wild party girl who could out drink pretty much anyone in the room, would absolutely love raising a child and running a household?

I guess what I absolutely love about staying home is that I am witness to his growth and the expansion of his mind and it gives me a certain sense of accomplishment. Everything I do somehow, someway affects him and shapes him. It is so much responsibility but for once in my life I feel like I have no problem taking it on.

I just can't believe this kid is spitting out sentences like there is no tomorrow. I guess I am feeling a bit nostalgic today.
It seems as if when they cut off his hair they cut off his babyhood. He is no longer my little baby, he is now my big boy who uses real forks and can put his own jacket on.

Finally I am actually feeling like a human being again. After being couped up in our tiny ass apartment for a week the husband and I went out for a night on the town. Well actually we just went out to dinner, but damn was it good! We ate at The Spotted Pig, a restaurant that I have had adult beverages at many a times, but not once have I eaten there. This is what we ate:

• Beau Soleil Oysters with Mignonette
• Shoestring Fries
• Pot of Pickles
• Sheep’s Ricotta Gnudi with Brown Butter and Sage
• Razor Clam Chowder with Homemade Crackers
• Flourless Chocolate Cake

It was a great meal. The Gnudi was amazing. I told Jon if he had it smeared all over his body he couldn't handle the things I would do:)...That is how freaking INCREDIBLE it was. The atmosphere at TSP is pretty cool too, it is a gastropub (something Jon is considering opening) which means it is a bar but it serves bomb ass food as well.
When we got home I made him watch The Grammy's on Tivo with me. We waited and waited throughout the long ass show for the Red Hot Chili Peppers to perform. Being a bit tipsy Jon went into a long tangent about how insane and awesome John Frusciante is and that he really liked his hair and beard. Being a bit tipsy myself I paid no mind until this morning when I found the husband shaving his long ass hair just like John Frusciante's. See what a night on the town gets you...

John Frusciante (second from left)My Jon Pre-Grammy watching (like a month ago, so his hair was actually way longer)
My Jon Post Grammy'sThe Hair That Wasn't There



PS...How many times did I say ASS in this post?

I have been miserably sick all week and I think I am just getting worse. I could have never imagined how hard it is to be a stay at home mom to a 19 month old boy and be seriously ill. Today the husband went into work late so he could take Catcher to his first Brooklyn Conservatory Musical Adventures class and I could try and sleep. I did but sleeping seems to make me feel shittier.
After the husband left for work (around 2pm) the TV turned on. Mom laid on the couch and the boy watched TV. The guilt I felt is overwhelming. I hate having Catcher watch TV especially cuz he is so good at it. He just sits in his inflatable chair and spaces out.
I am a TV Nazi around our house and I am constantly freaking out on Jon when he has the TV on as background noise. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT one of those parents who doesn't allow TV. I do allow it. I just limit the time it is on when he is awake. He is also only allowed to watch a handful of shows that include Sesame Street, Zooboomafoo, Barney (the kid loves to dance), and The Backyardigans (with dad).
So being sick has made me feel like a crappy mother. I still did some stuff with him today but for the most part I am so weak that reading books was our only together time. We did watch 2 episodes of Sesame Street together and I realized and questioned some things.

• Sesame Street reuses the material that I used to watch when I was a wee one.
• How much work has Maria had done? She looks like she's the same age as when I used to watch. Mr. Hooper on the other hand doesn't.
• When did Oscar move into the trash can with an elephant. Are they married or just roomies?
• Sesame Street is totally filmed in my neighborhood and the park in the opening song is Prospect Park which was our deciding factor in moving to Park Slope.
• If I watch Sesame Street, I sing Elmo's world all day long. In fact I am singing it right now and my brain is saying 'Stop!!!!'

In conclusion I will leave with you a clip of Dave Chapelle breaking Sesame Street down. It's funny as hell so enjoy!

Obituary

Not since Cleopatra first cast her spell upon both Julius Caesar and Marc Antony has the world seen a seductress the likes of Anna Nicole Smith. Gifted with the rare combination of beauty, drive, and rapier-like wit, Smith proved that a woman could outgrow her hardscrabble upbringing with a firm sense of herself and the refusal to accept any sort of failure.

In every single way, she was the purest embodiment of the modern female celebrity.

Beginnings

Born Vickie Lynn Hogan in 1967, Smith grew up in the small town of Mexia, Texas, where she eventually found employ as waitstaff at the town's befamed palace of poultry perfection, Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken. Whilst tendering her services, she came into contact with young Billy Wayne Smith (at sixteen, he was actually a year her junior).

Thus blossomed one of the great romances in the storied history of north central Texas. Their ardor proved itself almost immediately; within nine months of their wedding, a child was born.

They named him Daniel, after the Biblical hero tested by lions.

But in 1987, just two years later, she split with Billy Wayne. Because of their bond, and possibly their inability to afford lawyers, they did not officially divorce until 1993.

Young Anna Nicole fulfilled a need to serve her country by working at a Wal-Mart. From that perch, she deigned to accept a spread in Hugh Hefner's publication Playgirlboy in 1992. She was Playmate of the Year in 1993. She only then officially adopted the name Anna Nicole Smith, a moniker composed of an opaque series of extremely personal allusions.

She consented to allow Guess? Jeans to use her as a model.

Her first real run-in with the law was in 1994, in a suit against New York magazine. Offended by their disdain for the lower classes, she claimed damages of $5-million because her own depiction was used to incite hatred of "white trash."

Love and Tragedy and Law

But it was a few years before those contentious political times that Anna Nicole met the love of her life, J. Howard Marshall. In 1991, she was visiting a friend at a fine French restaurant named Gigi's, which featured dance performance. The oil billionaire was immediately smitten.

In 1994, the lovers married. Anna Nicole was 26; her groom was 89. They were married for a little more than a year before they were separated by his untimely death.

Almost immediately after his death, her spouse's son began a decade's worth of cruel litigation over his father's estate. Anna Nicole was forced to file for bankruptcy. Texas and California courts disagreed; the matter went federal.

Not since Andy Warhol's death—another artist of personality, with whom she had much in common—had such probate actions been seen.

Just last year, the Supreme Court itself was forced to intercede on behalf of Anna Nicole, affirming her right to protect herself in federal court. Through her persistence until the very end, Anna Nicole became something of a hero to women who had historically been treated so cruelly in the courts.

She fought until the very end, no matter how endlessly poorly the world treated her.

Women's Health, Strength, and Goodbyes

As a second-wave feminist, Anna Nicole was extremely concerned with women and body image issues. In partnership with a woman-friendly company called Trim Spa, she took her campaign to the streets. Her once waify model-weight increased at last to a healthy state.

She took up animal rights causes, and in 2006, stopped working as a model, citing the vagaries of a woman-unfriendly industry.

But according to a statement released by PETA today, something tragic happened. When Anna Nicole became a vegetarian, she began, dangerously, to lose weight again.

Still, she gave birth to a daughter that year, in September. Three days later, her son Daniel, then 20, died. Just a few weeks later, she was able to conduct a commitment ceremony with Howard K. Stern, in the Bahamas.

As a class-conscious statement, the commitment party was catered by Kentucky Fried Chicken.

To honor her son's memory, she sold the last pictures ever taken of him for $650,000.

That love—nor all the other love she enjoyed—was not enough. Today, in Hollywood, Florida, at the Hard Rock Cafe, paramedics could not revive her, and she died at the age of 39.

A commentator on CNN said a few hours after her death that "This is certainly an unexpected and very tragic turn of events for Anna Nicole Smith." Unfortunately, that was both true and also not in any sense accurate.

When I first heard that Anna Nicole Smith died I was immediately saddened. Not for her, because I don't believe she ever really lost that selfishness a mother usually loses after they have a child, but for her poor daughter. The poor girl is going to grow up without a mommy in a hailstorm of crazy, possibly drug addicted people fighting over money that was never theirs to begin with. Hopefully all of the bullshit will be put aside for the safety and well being of Anna Nicole's little girl.

RIP Anna Nicole. Bless you Dannilyn.

Yesterday was a bit ridiculous even for our unlucky family. The husband was off and we were going to spend the day at a museum. At 10 am the power went off. This is something that has happened before. We live above arestaurant and their breaker is connected to ours, so no big deal right? Wrong. We called the landlord (he blew us off), then we called ConEd. ConEd informed us that we had actually not been paying the right electric bill so they shut off our service. WTF? Seriously what the hell does that mean? Well according to Mrs. Hunt, Mrs. Johnston, Ms. Smith, and Mrs. Singleton it means that our aprtment has two electrical meters and we had only been paying one. We were never told of this other 'mysterious' meter however it was our FAULT. We were trying to cheat that poor defensless company called ConEd. We were told by these women that someone would fix the problem by 8pm. Really? 8pm? Ten hours from our first phone call.
We waited. We stole power. We watched Lord of the Rings extended version. We set up candles just in case they were really going to show up at 8pm. And then...the power went out again. This time in our entire building. The heat soon followed and the hot water was next. It was 4pm and getting darker and colder by each passing second.
We called our landlord. He blamed it on us. Yep it is definately our fault that your building has shitty wiring that has caused TWO electrical fires in the past year. He is such an asshole. I mean he is getting $2500/month for our silly little apartment. It's not rent controlled and I am sure he has owned the building for forty years. He is banking. Some money into this crapshack wouldn't hurt.
Finally 8pm rolled around and still no power. The husband was getting angry and called ConEd for the last time. He actually spoke to a woman who had not sold her soul to Satan and she walked us thru and assured us that it would be turned on. It was turn on in five minutes.
Needless to say, our date night fell through, although hopefully Jon & I will be able to go out on Sunday night.
To sum it all up:

• I hate my landlord, I should say Slumlord but his Gucci shoes throw me off every time.
• I hate ConEd. The people who work there should be forced to woprk outside during the winter months. Maybe then would they show some compassion.
• I need to move out of NYC. I think I need to live in the 'burbs. I know I will be bored but this is getting ridiculous.
• I am obsessed with Law & Order:CI~ we watched so much TV yesterday (when we stole power) and the CI was the best. I love Bobby Gorin!
• I am a goober.
• I am so sick and only want to sleep right now but I feel like I am a terrible mamma.

I stole this ridiculous video from the East Village Idiot. If you get a chance check him out, I just spent way way way too much time chuckling at his work.

I honestly think that the sub zero tempatures are making me computer work like crap. It has been moving so slowly that I feel like it's 98 and I have dial up all over again.

It is so so so so ridiculously cold outside, so cold that I refuse to leave the apartment for more than five minutes. Seriously it is skin burning cold...frigid in fact.

It is so damn cold that Vito and Potato are wearing clothes and scarves for their evening stroll.

It is so cold that we are boiling water on all the stove burners to make our gdamn apartment a little warmer.

It is so cold that my husband is actually wearing his puffy Marlboro jacket he won with miles in high school. And let me tell you how HOT he looks in it. Not at all like a redneck...

Yeah it's pretty f'ng cold.

What the hell is this about??????

Freak weather is often in the news these days, but in Russia something particularly strange has happened with falls reported of yellow and orange coloured snow.

Russia has flown a team of chemical experts out to the Siberian region where this has happened to investigate further. More than 1,500sq km (570sq miles) in the Omsk region of Siberia experienced falls of the snow, which was also described as “oily” and “smelly” and fell over several towns

Officials have said that chemical analysis is being carried out and Vladimir Gurzhey, an official with the civil defence ministry in Omsk, said on Russian television that the snow had four times the normal levels of iron in it.

Residents in the Omsk area, where some 27,000 people live, have been advised not to use the snow for any purposes or allow their animals to graze in it.

The boy had his first major accident. The blood it was a flowin...

I don't know how it happened. One minute he was walking in the grandparents kitchen the next minute he's crying and his toe is gushing.

The bleeding wouldn't stop and the grandparents are not very equiped for emergency child first aid.

After 20 minutes of exessive bleeding I made the call to the Dr. sister in law and soon we were off to her office.

She patched him up and put some surgi sticks on his little toe.

He was fine. No crying. No screaming. Just a whole lot of blood.

Well my friends... Pennsylvania was almost cool to me yesterday. Yep, the only major problem we had was a super white out snow storm that started about 5 miles before we made it into Ohio. Of course, PA always has to mess with me somehow. But in all actuality we made it back in unbelievable time and Catcher was freaking awesome during the whole ride. I think he knew I meant serious business about driving home. I needed to get out of NYC~ it was making me crazy!

So the drive was great, I totally surprised my dad (even though my brother told my stepmom), and Catcher had a blast playing with his awesome GF, Bo. Tonight we shall go visit the cousins and later I will get to drink wine and hang out with my BFF. Can't wait.

I am driving back to Ohio tomorrow with the boy and the hubby is flying to New Orleans. I am looking forward to seeing my family and my friends however I am not looking forward to the drive. As you may know by reading Chef's Widow I absolutely HATE Pennsylvania. Seriously, I don't just hate driving thru the state I actually hate the state itself. I hate Philly, I hate the Steelers, I hate the residents. Pennsylvania sucks. Honestly, every single time I drive from NYC to Ohio, Pennsylvania always seems to screw me at the last minute. I'll be making fantastic time... I'll be an hour away from Ohio and then PA gives me the finger. It might be a construction zone (where no one is working), or maybe a complete white out, or better yet an accident that could have easily been put on the side of the road but instead the stupid ass PA police have blocked all lanes make it a complete deadlock. Assholes. So as you can see tomorrow is going to suck for me. At least the boy has a portable Car DVD now so he can just zone off into the wonderful world of Baby Einstein. Wish me luck...

I found this interesting I Hate PA Website. I think it might be authored by someone in prison. Whatever... I feel him, Pennsylvania Does SUCK!!!

No wine. No creative juices flowing. No fun. No posts. Just You Tube. It will make you happy. This post brought tears of joy to me blue eyes. How lucky he was to see so many amazing places on our Earth.

The husbands' schedule has relaxed a bit and he has been able to do a so called 'European workday.' He basically goes to The Brooklyn Burger Bar in the am, comes home mid-afternoon to hang with the boy, the dogs, & me, and then heads into the city to do dinner service at Parea.
The mid-afternoon stop has been all sorts of fun for all parties involved. Today's involved some mild hysteria and complete chaos when my Christmas present (the fuzz bomb hat) got to play a game of musical heads.

How great are these pics, I have some more really awesome ones over on Catcher's blog. Enjoy.

A few months ago I unintentionally hurt a good friend's feelings. At the time she was 7 months pregnant. Since then I have emailed her multiple times trying to explain myself. I have yet to hear from her. She had her baby in December and I never knew. I have yet to see a picture of her daughter and it makes me so sad. I thought after she had the baby, she would realize that my comments were not meant to hurt her, they were simply my own personal opinion. I believed that after she had the baby she would realize that it was meaningless to be mad at me, there would be more important things for her to concentrate on. I hate the fact that I cannot call her up and see how motherhood is treating her. She played such a vital role in my life when Catcher was born I just cannot believe that I cannot do the same for her. To have a friends stop being your friend after some bullshit makes one wonder, where we truly ever friends to begin with? I guess I will just have to wait it out and see. All I can do know is wish her and her new family all the love and light there is throughout the universe.

This was our wedding song and I am going to listen to it all night long. I think it is the most beautifully written and performed song I have ever heard. Enjoy!

Sorry I am lame and I keep posting these bullshit about me things. I just am trying to spend some to with hubby as we have not seen each other in weeks. The pic is from our fabulous brunch this morning at Bubby's in Dumbo. How cute is the boy in that third strip? How much do Jon & I look like serial killers?



1. I love... Catcher & Jon & Potato & Vito
2. Right now I want... a chocolate malt
3. I feel like... watching V is for Vendetta
4. I hate it when... it is fucking freezing in the city
5. I fear... that my husband is way to stressed out
6. I'm lonely without... my love, my boy, my doggies, & my ladies
7. I need... to make out
8. Today I... had brunch with Jon's cousin, his fiancee, and the boy
9. Tomorrow I'm... blogging, cleaning, spending time with my husband
10. I just want... more time with my family, the new Marc Jacobs bag, & a tummy tuck
11. I want to meet... ewan mcgregor or kurt vonnegut
12. I'm hungry for... some luvin:)
13. I love it when... when it rains when the sun is shining
14. I'm afraid of... flying
15. I'm listening to... sinead o'connor
16. I'm wearing... sailor jerry wife beater, hudson jeans
17. I wish I was in... St. Barths
18. I'm craving... another vodka soda
19. I want to get... stuff
20. I can... put my legs behind my head
21. I can't... do my own taxes
22. I have... a really fat dog named Vito
23. I haven't... chopped off my arm
24. I'm nervous about... the future of our country
25. My Mom thinks I... ruined her marriage
26. My Dad thinks I... am fat
27. I think... my parents fucked me up
28. I'm happy when... my husband works 80 hours a week instead of 100
29. I'm sad when... my husband works 100 hours a week
30. I like eating... braised pork shank and crispy brussels with cheddar and pecorino
31. I hate eating... junk food or fast food
32. I love watching tv... in bed at night with Potato's hot belly making me warm.
33. I love listening to... my son ramble on in the am before I get him outta bed
34. I like playing... drinking Trivial Pursuit w/ Mikey, Jon, & Amanda.
35. I hate waking up to... no one
36. I can see...this god damn computer screen
37. I'm glad that... I went to Brunch with hubby this morning
38. I'm disappointed that... Ohio State lost two weeks ago
39. I look like... a sexy momma
40. I wish I looked like... My head, Jessica Biel's body

Things have been a little jumpy lately. The weather, the passing of the holidays, my weight...Somehow I have managed to gain roughly 6 lbs. It fluctuates on a daily basis however the average is definitely around 6. Gaining weight when you already consider yourself a fat ass is super depressing. Having your husband tell you that you look the same is even more depressing. I know that people can tell I have gained weight, when I went to Jonathon's restaurant the other night, certain people gave me a once over then a double take. Luckily I was a bit intoxicated so I paid no mind.
The thing is...I want to lose weight and I want to continue doing Bikram yoga, I just don't have a chance at the moment. Jon has pretty much been working at both restaurants, The Brooklyn Burger Bar & Parea, so I have seen him about two hours a day. Yoga is an hour and a half so I'm not quite sure how I could fit it in. Hopefully the BBB will be up and running smoothly by the end of this week. Next Sunday Jon is going to New Orleans to meet some restaurant investors who want to start a French restaurant. I have made plans to head back to Cleveland the day he flies out. Hopefully when we both get back from our respected trips his schedule will be more relaxed and I will have some more free time. Being with an 18 month old crazy active toddler 24-7 can make a Chef's Widow go mad!
Although I adore it for the most part~~~~
even when he is throwing a major tantrum on the middle of the sidewalk on Seventh Ave.

LAST PERSON WHO

x. Slept in your bed: Potato & Vito
x.Had you sleep in their bed? Their bed is our bed
x. Saw you cry: Jon
x. Made you cry: My Dad
x. You shared a drink with: Jon
x. You went to the movies: Jon
x. You went to the mall with: Amanda & Bo a long time ago...
x. Yelled at you: Catcher
x. Sent you an email: My Dad

HAVE YOU EVER???

x. Have you ever liked someone who hadn't like you?: Sure
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it? Everyday
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: no
x. Been to California: Yes
x. Been to Hawaii: No
x. Been to Mexico: Yes
x. Been to China: No but I'd like to go
x. Been to Canada: Yes
x. Danced naked: Usually clothed but everyday with Catcher
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day?: All the time, in fact I just called my grandpa regarding a dream I had about him two nights ago
x. Do you have a crush on someone: My husband
x. What book are you reading now: I wish I could say that I had time to read, I got the new Vonnegut for Christmas but haven't had a moment to start it, maybe I should read instead of doing this garbage
x. Worst feeling in the world: Helplessness
x. Future son's name: Not that far ahead yet...I really like Roark
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Sometimes if the boy leaves 'em in the bed
x. What's under your bed: Tons of leftover wedding invitations that I can't bear to throw out cuz they are to awesome
x. Favorite sport to watch: Snowboarding or Surfing
x. Siblings: Andy, Matt, & Jon
x. Location: Home
x. College plans: None, although I am thinking about taking a painting class
x. boyfriend/girlfriend: I am married to my boyfriend

EXTRA STUFF

x. Do you do drugs: No
x. Do you drink: Wine or Vodka
x. What are you most scared of: Our government and the future of our democracy
x. Where do you want to get married: If I had to do it again, on my family's farm in Italy with chickens running around like crazy.
x. Who do you really hate: Not a big fan of GWB but I can honestly say I do not believe in hate in a shape in any form...
x. Been in Love: Yes Yes Yes
x. Do you drive: Yes
x. Do you have a job: Hells Yeah, hardest job I've ever had in my entire life
x. Do you like being around people: Some people, my friends, my fam, my hubs...

STUFF

x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: Yeah..def
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go for? I used to go for substance abusers...now I just go for one type: Executive Chef, Wine Drinker, Looks Kinda like Ewan McGregor when his beard is grown in.
x. Want someone you don't have right now: Nope
x. Are you lonely right now: Yes...Jonny's opening a new restaurant in Brooklyn and I have seen him for like three hours this week.
x. Song thats sticks in your head a lot: Stupid Noggin songs
x. Do you want to get married: Already am
x. Do you want kids: I have one...maybe another sometime

FAVORITE

x. Room in house: My living room is awesome, I have a wall of 15 ft high windows that look out into Park Slope. Not so bad for $2500/month
x. music: Math Rock
x. Band(s): Too many to list...
x. Color: Blue
x. Perfume or cologne?:Narcisso Rodriguez
x. Month: June
x. Stone: Crab YUMMM

IN THE LAST WEEK, HAVE YOU

x. Cried: A little
x. Bought something: Yes last thing I bought was sushi and I am about to buy some right now for din din
x. Gotten sick: Nope
x. Sang: Italian Kiddie Songs today with the boy
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: Yes and I did!
x. Met someone new: Yes...those Chefs at the event I went to on Monday...Tom Colichio, etc...
x. Missed someone: Every day I miss AMK and my dad and bro and grandpa and grandmama
x. Hugged someone: Vito gets all my huggin
x. Kissed someone: Yes Catch Jon Vito Potato

F A V O R I T E S

Foods: Jonathon's
girls name: Lake
Boys names: Catcher, Orsen, & Roark
Subjects in school: Art
Animals: Doggies...pitbulls

H A V E Y O U E V E R ????

Given anyone a bath? Every Night
Smoked?: Yes luckily I have been able to quit!
Bungee jumped?: Not a fucking chance
Made yourself throw up?: Yes, in college, I had some rough days...
Ever been in love?: Yes, didn't really know what love was until I reconnected with my husband...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Many times
Cried when someone died? Hysterically
Fallen for your best friend?: At one point in time I thought I had feelings for him but now that I look back on it...
Done something you regret?: Yep

W H O D O Y O U W A N N A???

Kill?: No one
Slap?: Sometimes I like to slap JS around...j/k...i kid...i kid
Get really wasted with?: I love getting wasted with Amanda, Candice too, they both get ultra cute and AK gets a baby voice and CCC gets super lovey...I miss my ladies!!!
Sex it up with: Jon

R A N D O M BS

In the morning I: drink coffee, feed the boy, get ready for the day
I dream about: sex
Playing with: my computer
What do you notice first in the opposite sex? Face or Eyes

W H O???

Makes you laugh the most: Jon cracks me up when he gets going
Makes you smile: My baby Boy

D O Y O U E V E R ??

Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: Not a fucking chance. I don't even know what the f im is.
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: No
Wish you were younger: I wish my body was younger
Cried because someone said something to you?: Sure, what girl hasn't especially in high school.

I just woke up to the smell of cinnamon burning. Not a good smell. For some reason, our normally very potent stem heater has not been turning on. This morning before work, Jon put four pots on our little stove. One had cinnamon, the other oranges. The apartment heated up and smelled yummy all at the same time. At about 10.30 Catcher fell asleep, as did I. I woke up about 15 minutes ago (11.00) to that fabulous smell. Jon's pan is burned and our house smells gross. At least the boy slept through it all.


Last night Jon and I went to a Chef event and I got totally starstruck after meeting Tom Colicchio. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is the judge and creator of Top Chef. I don't know why I got all cheesy, maybe b/c I just started watching the show with Jon and I really like it. I feel like I am actually gaining a little bit of insight into my husband's world by watching the show. So anywho, I was so gay and couldn't stop 'big' smiling, you know the joker smile, that was me times 5. Thank god but I don't think he even noticed. He was to busy looking for the previous Top Chef winner Herald, who was also there. Whatever.

The space that the event was held at was really cool. It was a test kitchen for these appliances called Electrolux. Very awesome appliances. I mean top of the line bad ass kitchen stuff and it all had that really cool touch screen blue lighting. All in all though it was actually very boring and I was the only widow there. It was all a bunch of dudes or chefs or agents. Yuck. I just couldn't resist going, I mean they picked us up in a Caddy and shoved champagne and caviar down our throats. Who's gonna pass on that?

Did I forget to mention that so far out of every event related to food that I have been to this past year, my husband is no doubt the best looking Chef out there? For a minute I thought Sam (Top Chef) was cute but his personality ruined that for me~ My Jonny's got him beat.

I think that it may be time for my husband to open up his own restaurant.

Growing up I would have to say that I had the best grandparents known to man or woman. They were the epitome of what every child could possibly want in a grandparent or parent for that matter. My grandma is gone now but my grandpa is still here and for that I am so grateful. Every time I see him, I see my grandma who I miss dearly everyday. My grandma was an amazing woman. She was a matriarch. She was independent when women were not supposed to be independent. She was my mother, not by birth but by love. When I hated my parents and couldn't take the fighting for much longer, she was my escape. She made it all better. When I was scared or depressed all I needed was to see her face and hear her voice and I knew that life would eventually work itself out. It has been almost four years since her awful battle with pancreatic cancer ended and I still cannot let her go, nor do I want too. I talk to her every day. I pray to her when I fly on an airplane and eventually I will have a tattoo of her on my arm in her wedding dress (which she would totally hate). Losing someone who means the world to you can ultimately change your destiny. When my grandmother got sick, Jonathon and I began to reconnect. We began to speak on the phone every night. When she died his mom came to her funeral. At the time I thought it was odd, but know I know that she was meant to be there. She had to meet the most important women in my life. After she died, I gave up everything. I said Fuck You to everything that surrounding me. Everything but Jonathon. I left school in January, six months had passed, and I moved to New York City. I had $92 in my purse.
Little did I know that my grandmother's passing would ultimately lead me to the birth of my son and the beginning of my family. She had to leave this earth so Catcher could arrive. It is an odd theory for someone who has a very hard time with religion but I really do believe that is what happened.

Shit, now I am a mess. Good thing I have Potato to lick the tears off of my face.

Anyways that being said; now that I have my own son and he has grandparents of his own, I find myself pitting them against each other in my head. I compare, I make notes, I summarize. Who is the better grandparent? Who loves Catcher more? It is unfair and judgemental but it is my son that we are dealing with and he deserves the best.

I have only spoken about one of my sets of grandparents because the other set died when I was young. I didn't know them well. Although I know my Pope had a liking of the vodka, somewhat like myself. When I see grandparents I never see them. Although a Dolly Parton-Kenny Rogers song remind me of my granny when I hear, yes it is on my iTunes. Back to the judging thing, I guess my issue is ultimately my father. I want him to be someone he used to be before he married his new wife. Things have changed drastically between us and I cannot only blame him. He is different but I am different as well. I just want him to stand up for me and what I have become. I want him to be proud of my family. He loves Catcher, I know this for sure, he may even love him more than me, which is completely understandable. I have been an asshole for the majority of my time I spent with him. I guess I just have a problem with how they react to our life here in New York. They do not approve and they never hesitate to tell us so in their own words. As a parent I firmly believe that issues like that must be put aside and the relationship between child and grandparent must be the priority. They have come to see us once and the only reason they came was because my father had a convention in the city. In Florida I felt like they did not offer once to take the boy or hang out with him. I had to force it upon them. That is not how I believe it should be. However this is how it may be with them. I have to realize that they are not going to be my grandparents. And that makes my so sad. I want my boy to have the same phenomenal experience that I had with my own grandparents. Maybe in time things will change.



Man I wish my grandma was here to talk this one out. Fuck the Internet.

Apparently, it's National De-Lurking Week. It's time to show your face or at least your words. Leave a comment, say hi, tell me what an idiot I am! What eve- just stop lurking around and de-lurk yourself! I'm one to talk, I think I probably read about ten blogs a day and I think I have commented about 5 times in my entire life. Lame-O!

It is so cold outside today. Just when I thought we might skip over winter. Bummer. Being back in New York has been great so far, however I am starting to freak out about being inside constantly. I think that I am going to sign Catcher up for swim classes. They are pretty cheap, compared to his Gymboree & Conservatory classes. It would get us out of the house and I will pretty much pay anything for that. The husband is thinking about doing a couple consulting jobs which would be great and not so great. He would make good $$$ upfront which we desperately need because we overspent at Christmas and went crazy in Florida. The downisde would be his hours. He would be working double for the most part and I would really not be seeing him at all except for his days off. Guess it just means I'll start painting again.

Speaking of painting, Jon, Catch, & I visited the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersuburg, we were amazed and I was humbled. I have been there quite a few times, he has never, yet the museum had changed so much that I felt like I had never stepped foot in the place. It was awesome seeing his four masterpieces up close and personal, but the really great part was all his other works up close. His brush work was so detailed, small, and articulate that it is hard to believe it was created by a man. Jon actually saw a print that he thinks he is going to turn into a tattoo.

Update! I just searched for a pic of what he wants and I found that it was used on The Descent (awesome!!!!!) movie poster. Hmmm, wonder if he will still want it. It's kind of strange that we watched The Descent a couple days before The Dali Museum. BTW, The Descent is the best movie I have seen since Thank You For Smoking. If you like scary f'ng movies, The Descent is for you!

My husband NYE at around 3am. We didn't get home till 4. WTF? I haven't stayed out that late since before the boy was born. We were toasty too, and the next day had to brunch it with his parents. I may or may not have gotten super sick in the bathroom at Bubby's. I'll never tell....

Parea is nominated for best Med restaurant on Citysearch. I voted and now it is your turn:

Click HERE to vote for my man's restaurant.



Vote!!!

It has been a tumultious week of traveling and we have finally arrived back in NYC. Lucky for us the mysterious smell is gone and it's not THAT cold. Ihave tons of shit to do today, and that includes updated the blogs, laundry, working out, grocery shopping, etc etc. Not fun but gotta be done. Hopefully tonight I will be back up and running.