Thirteen Things That I Just Can't Seem to Get Done

1. Call this guy. (Above)
2. Unpack from vaca.
3. Finish both bathroom remodels (that way I can post all the hilarious pics of the chef and I laying tile while trying not to kill each other).
4. Figure out how I am going to decorate baby girl's nursery without going crazy in a sea of bubblegum pink.
5. Post on any of my three (non paying) blogs.
6. Alone time w/o the boy, w/o the chef, & w/o the dogs. Especially Potato who has recently turned into that ball crazy dog in the movie Spanglish. If you haven't seen it, rent it, it's great and it's about a chef.
7. Put the chef's most recent press in his portfolio. This would literally take 5 minutes. Which I haven't seem to have had since we have gotten home.
8. Buy the chef an anniversary present. Our one year (church) wedding is on Sunday and I don't have squat for ideas.
9. Make my best friend a CD for her birthday which is tomorrow.
10. Shower. It's been about five days. I know. Gross.
11. Give Potato an itch shampoo bath. Ever since we got back his rash has been making him insane.
12. Plant the gardenia (I think?) plant Ruth cut off from her tree in FLA.
13. Make out w/ the chef. It's been awhile. Plus he has wine tastings every night (yes that's what chefs call getting drunk) and I can't stand the smell of the vino while prego.

Thirteen Pictures of My Favorite Boys in the World

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Thirteen Things I Forgot Happens When I Am Prego

1. The appearance of cellulite on my ass & thighs.
2. The ridiculous heartburn, the ridiculous gas.
3. The super psychotic insane nightmares.
4. Zits on my chest. WTF is that about, I really don't remember those from my first pregnancy.
5. My hair grows hella fast everywhere especially my toes.
6. The massive pain that I get in my abdomen from my big 'ol belly stretching.
7. Me turning into the sappiest, mushiest romantic ever. Thanks hormones!
8. My desire to eat bologna. Real bologna. You sickos.
9. The battle of the names. Loving one, then a better one knocks on my door.
10. Not being able to go to the bathroom.
11. Not being able to not go to the bathroom.
12. My boobs growing to watermelon size.
13. Weird shit coming out of my body any which way possible. (Sorry, TMI)


Really makes you wanna get prego, doesn't it??

13 Things/People That Make Me Insane

1. People who chew with their mouths open.
2. Young Hollywood
3. People who think that success equals the amount of money you have.
4. Cigar smoke.
5. Skinny Bitches. I'm talking Nicole Richie skinny.
6. Potato's skin rash treatment that I have probably spent thousands of dollars on.
7. Liars.
8. The media.
9. The war.
10. Presidential Elections.
11. Abusing wind shield wipers. What I mean is not using them when necessary or using them when it is not raining &/or snowing.
12. Bitten fingernails.
13. Not taking me seriously cause I am a woman.


Happy Summer Solstice Everybody!!

I would definitely have to say I am way more fulfilled being at home with the boy than I am at work. Now that I am back working part time, I feel like I a missing a part of my sons life. I enjoy being at work, sometimes I need the time away but I can tell you that when my day with Catcher rolls around I am a completely different women.
It is nice to get back into our daily routine even though it has changed drastically since the move. I love that he is so calm at the end of our fun filled day and I love that he chills out right before bed. I adore watching him while he sits in his playroom and reads himself books. I love talking him to the pool and seeing him trying so desperately to swim like the big kids (although I can def say I am not a fan of the 'moms'). These are the moments I am missing out on when I am at work and let me tell you each one counts. Each moment that I miss with him is a moment that I cannot get back. I hope soon things will start to come around and I will be able to stay home with him more than two days a week. Whoa. I can't believe I only have two days with him. Hold back those tears, mamma. There's no crying in baseball.

Thirteen Things That Make My Toddler Pyschotic

1. Not being able to eat cottage cheese for lunch, dinner, and breakfast.
2. Not being able to go outside during a massive thunder and lightening storm.
3. Mommy.
4. Daddy.
5. Vito kisses.
6. Getting the play dough taken away from him when he is smashing it into mommy's new shag rug.
7. Anything.
8. Nothing.
9. Not being allowed to which the national average of 4 hrs of TV a day.
10. Getting bubbles stuck to his fingers.
11. Not being allowed to stick things in his ears (like pink insulation from who the hell knows where?)
12. Putting food on his plate if it doesn't 'belong' there.
13. Stepping in wet grass even though he is the one that took his shoes off in the first place.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I like about being back in Ohio

1. My mortgage is half of our NYC rent, neither of us are working so that works out really well.
2. Signing up for a gym membership that costs $300/yr not $300/month.
3. My dad.
4. Our families.
5. My backyard.
6. The library. Yes there are libraries in NYC but they are confusing and a pain in the ass b/c you have to walk and carry lotsa books.
7. I feel really really SKINNY. And I am prego. Lotsa fatties in Ohio. No offense if you are large.
8. Food is so cheap. Organic milk is the price of NYC pesticide infested milk.
9. The Metroparks. It's like Prospect Park & Central Park combined minus the cracked out homeless folks.
10. Pretty soon my Gpa will be up from FLA and I am a big fan of him. He lives in same town and he cracks me up constantly without ever trying.
11. The news. Seriously it is hilarious. It's like watching The National Enquirer, no Wacky World News. Everything is soooooooooooooo fabricated it's funny. New York news was so sad and disheartening. If someone was killed in NYC you wondered how another human could do something, but if someone is killed in Ohio you wonder why it had four eyes and a blue leg.
12. My bizatches. Especially my BFF. I have missed her greatly. She is my rock and boy does she know how to listen to my long winded ass.
13. Papa John's pizza. Haven't had it yet but that garlic butter sauce has been on my mind since we crossed the state line.

Thirteen Vonnegut Quotes

1. All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in amber.


2. History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.


3. The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.


4. One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.


5. I still believe that peace and plenty of happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.


6. The two prime movers in the Universe are Time & Luck


7. Make love when you can. It's good for you.


8. We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.


9. The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms.


10. Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.


11. Vietnam was an exercise in mistaken idealism; Iraq in cynical money-making. And there's no optimism or idealism now -- Americans are tired of knowledge. Our leaders, the C-students from Yale, know this. We're proud of being ignorant; that leaves virtue at our core. We aren't frazzled by knowledge like foreigners, so we can be trusted.


12. Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?


13. If you find your life tangled up with somebody else's life for no very logical reasons, that person may be a member of your karass.

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I miss about NYC/Brooklyn

1. The way people dress. Apparently the Ohio 'uniform' consists of a striped polo shirt and khaki's no matter what sex you are.
2. Nannies yelling at kids. In NYC the nannies are the assholes to the kids. They were the ones who would yell or be inappropriate towards the kids in public. It was very sad but kind of expected. Not in Ohio, first off no one has nannies. Second, it is the mom screaming at her kids in a public library. Very impressive.
3. The pedestrian lifestyle. I have been back in Ohio and have barely made it to the curb to take the garbage out. So depressing. How am I going to get my daily dose of low impact cardio? Plus gas is ridiculous. I never realized how little money we spent on gas in NYC. We probably filled our tank 5 times in a year.
4. Target. I know, I know. There is Target in Cleveland. But it's not the same. Target in Brooklyn was hard core. The lines were long. The people were mean. The walk back (10 blocks) was tough especially loaded with a stroller, a child, and 10 filled bags barely hanging onto the stroller. But it was an adventure. A day at Target was like a day hiking in the Rocky Mountains.
5. Franny's. The best pizza on the planet.
6. Fresh Direct grocery delivery service. Check out the website if you've never been.
7. Brunch. Not that I can really enjoy the finer aspects (bloody mary) of brunch anymore. But still it's nice knowing that the option for a great Sunday meal is available. The only Brunch in Ohio is at Ponderosa.
8. The boy's Gymboree class. Silly isn't it? I never made one friend (besides the teacher) yet I miss it. It was so much fun watching him be crazy around all the stuffy parents and their uber cool kids.
9. Taking the boy to the garden at The Brooklyn Music Conservatory. Even in the dead of winter he would run up to the frozen fish pond and demand to know where the 'ishies' were.
10. My friend Meredith.
11. The Chef's days off. We always did something together as a family. Granted the Chef is still working in NYC (we are in The Hampton's as I type this) and we haven't really settled. I am sure that when we do, we will still have our family days.
12. Oshimi lunch special. 1 California Roll. 1 Spicy Tuna Roll. 1 Brooklyn Roll. 1 Miso Soup. 2 Pork Dumplings. Edamame. $7.95!
13. Riding my bike with the boy in Prospect Park. Although I only did this a handful of times I really loved it. We made it around the entire park and would stop and see the crazy geese. So much fun and the boy adored it. Even now if we walk past a bike he starts screaming 'mike, mike' and throws a massive tantrum.



Stay tuned for next week's TT..."13 Things I don't miss about NYC/Brooklyn"

Thirteen Names We are Considering for our new Baby
1. Cotton
2. Roark
3. Bowie
4. Cillian
5. Thoreau
6. Dorian
7. Ewan
8. Caine
9. Huxley
10. Conway
11. Chance
12. Corbett
13. Cavan


Obviously we think the baby is going to be a boy. If it's a girl we might be f'd.

Thirteen Things You Need to Know About Potato & Vito


1. Vito licks feet at night right before we go to sleep. He worms his way under our comforter and takes turns licking the Chef & my feet.

2. Potato has a serious skin condition that cause him to eat his skin raw. It also causes us to spend thousands of dollars on treatment. Hi is the most expensive free dog ever.

3. Potato is faster than a cheetah if he spies a squirrel. I have never seen ANY dog run faster.

4. Vito hates everyone except me & the boy. On the street he will attack any dog he sees no matter how big or how scary. He just doesn't give a fuck.

5. Vito loves loves loves to bask in the sunlight. He gets all pig like and rolls over so the sun rays can hit his belly.

6. Vito has super STINK breath so he takes Burt's Bees Natural Dog Breath Freshener. Seriously he does.

7. Potato sleeps all day when he has no backyard to play in. He lays two inches from the heater and sleeps. He awakes when the Chef comes home.

8. Vito is in love with Potato but also hates him because he takes away my attention. One day I imagine Vito is going to figure out how to poison Potato so it can be all about him again.

9. Potato is the worst dog that I have ever walked on a leash. He is a puller and pretty much impossible to walk with Vito & the stroller.

10. Because of Potato's skin problem, he has to eat really expensive organic, holistic duck dog food. It costs $60/month.

11. Vito has never had one health problem.

12. Potato can carry three tennis balls in his mouth while swimming.

13. Vito & Catcher have an unspoken agreement. If the boy does not like the food he has received at mealtime, he drops it down to Vito. This is why Vito is a fat ass.