Well my friends... Pennsylvania was almost cool to me yesterday. Yep, the only major problem we had was a super white out snow storm that started about 5 miles before we made it into Ohio. Of course, PA always has to mess with me somehow. But in all actuality we made it back in unbelievable time and Catcher was freaking awesome during the whole ride. I think he knew I meant serious business about driving home. I needed to get out of NYC~ it was making me crazy!

So the drive was great, I totally surprised my dad (even though my brother told my stepmom), and Catcher had a blast playing with his awesome GF, Bo. Tonight we shall go visit the cousins and later I will get to drink wine and hang out with my BFF. Can't wait.

I am driving back to Ohio tomorrow with the boy and the hubby is flying to New Orleans. I am looking forward to seeing my family and my friends however I am not looking forward to the drive. As you may know by reading Chef's Widow I absolutely HATE Pennsylvania. Seriously, I don't just hate driving thru the state I actually hate the state itself. I hate Philly, I hate the Steelers, I hate the residents. Pennsylvania sucks. Honestly, every single time I drive from NYC to Ohio, Pennsylvania always seems to screw me at the last minute. I'll be making fantastic time... I'll be an hour away from Ohio and then PA gives me the finger. It might be a construction zone (where no one is working), or maybe a complete white out, or better yet an accident that could have easily been put on the side of the road but instead the stupid ass PA police have blocked all lanes make it a complete deadlock. Assholes. So as you can see tomorrow is going to suck for me. At least the boy has a portable Car DVD now so he can just zone off into the wonderful world of Baby Einstein. Wish me luck...

I found this interesting I Hate PA Website. I think it might be authored by someone in prison. Whatever... I feel him, Pennsylvania Does SUCK!!!

No wine. No creative juices flowing. No fun. No posts. Just You Tube. It will make you happy. This post brought tears of joy to me blue eyes. How lucky he was to see so many amazing places on our Earth.

The husbands' schedule has relaxed a bit and he has been able to do a so called 'European workday.' He basically goes to The Brooklyn Burger Bar in the am, comes home mid-afternoon to hang with the boy, the dogs, & me, and then heads into the city to do dinner service at Parea.
The mid-afternoon stop has been all sorts of fun for all parties involved. Today's involved some mild hysteria and complete chaos when my Christmas present (the fuzz bomb hat) got to play a game of musical heads.

How great are these pics, I have some more really awesome ones over on Catcher's blog. Enjoy.

A few months ago I unintentionally hurt a good friend's feelings. At the time she was 7 months pregnant. Since then I have emailed her multiple times trying to explain myself. I have yet to hear from her. She had her baby in December and I never knew. I have yet to see a picture of her daughter and it makes me so sad. I thought after she had the baby, she would realize that my comments were not meant to hurt her, they were simply my own personal opinion. I believed that after she had the baby she would realize that it was meaningless to be mad at me, there would be more important things for her to concentrate on. I hate the fact that I cannot call her up and see how motherhood is treating her. She played such a vital role in my life when Catcher was born I just cannot believe that I cannot do the same for her. To have a friends stop being your friend after some bullshit makes one wonder, where we truly ever friends to begin with? I guess I will just have to wait it out and see. All I can do know is wish her and her new family all the love and light there is throughout the universe.

This was our wedding song and I am going to listen to it all night long. I think it is the most beautifully written and performed song I have ever heard. Enjoy!

Sorry I am lame and I keep posting these bullshit about me things. I just am trying to spend some to with hubby as we have not seen each other in weeks. The pic is from our fabulous brunch this morning at Bubby's in Dumbo. How cute is the boy in that third strip? How much do Jon & I look like serial killers?



1. I love... Catcher & Jon & Potato & Vito
2. Right now I want... a chocolate malt
3. I feel like... watching V is for Vendetta
4. I hate it when... it is fucking freezing in the city
5. I fear... that my husband is way to stressed out
6. I'm lonely without... my love, my boy, my doggies, & my ladies
7. I need... to make out
8. Today I... had brunch with Jon's cousin, his fiancee, and the boy
9. Tomorrow I'm... blogging, cleaning, spending time with my husband
10. I just want... more time with my family, the new Marc Jacobs bag, & a tummy tuck
11. I want to meet... ewan mcgregor or kurt vonnegut
12. I'm hungry for... some luvin:)
13. I love it when... when it rains when the sun is shining
14. I'm afraid of... flying
15. I'm listening to... sinead o'connor
16. I'm wearing... sailor jerry wife beater, hudson jeans
17. I wish I was in... St. Barths
18. I'm craving... another vodka soda
19. I want to get... stuff
20. I can... put my legs behind my head
21. I can't... do my own taxes
22. I have... a really fat dog named Vito
23. I haven't... chopped off my arm
24. I'm nervous about... the future of our country
25. My Mom thinks I... ruined her marriage
26. My Dad thinks I... am fat
27. I think... my parents fucked me up
28. I'm happy when... my husband works 80 hours a week instead of 100
29. I'm sad when... my husband works 100 hours a week
30. I like eating... braised pork shank and crispy brussels with cheddar and pecorino
31. I hate eating... junk food or fast food
32. I love watching tv... in bed at night with Potato's hot belly making me warm.
33. I love listening to... my son ramble on in the am before I get him outta bed
34. I like playing... drinking Trivial Pursuit w/ Mikey, Jon, & Amanda.
35. I hate waking up to... no one
36. I can see...this god damn computer screen
37. I'm glad that... I went to Brunch with hubby this morning
38. I'm disappointed that... Ohio State lost two weeks ago
39. I look like... a sexy momma
40. I wish I looked like... My head, Jessica Biel's body

Things have been a little jumpy lately. The weather, the passing of the holidays, my weight...Somehow I have managed to gain roughly 6 lbs. It fluctuates on a daily basis however the average is definitely around 6. Gaining weight when you already consider yourself a fat ass is super depressing. Having your husband tell you that you look the same is even more depressing. I know that people can tell I have gained weight, when I went to Jonathon's restaurant the other night, certain people gave me a once over then a double take. Luckily I was a bit intoxicated so I paid no mind.
The thing is...I want to lose weight and I want to continue doing Bikram yoga, I just don't have a chance at the moment. Jon has pretty much been working at both restaurants, The Brooklyn Burger Bar & Parea, so I have seen him about two hours a day. Yoga is an hour and a half so I'm not quite sure how I could fit it in. Hopefully the BBB will be up and running smoothly by the end of this week. Next Sunday Jon is going to New Orleans to meet some restaurant investors who want to start a French restaurant. I have made plans to head back to Cleveland the day he flies out. Hopefully when we both get back from our respected trips his schedule will be more relaxed and I will have some more free time. Being with an 18 month old crazy active toddler 24-7 can make a Chef's Widow go mad!
Although I adore it for the most part~~~~
even when he is throwing a major tantrum on the middle of the sidewalk on Seventh Ave.

LAST PERSON WHO

x. Slept in your bed: Potato & Vito
x.Had you sleep in their bed? Their bed is our bed
x. Saw you cry: Jon
x. Made you cry: My Dad
x. You shared a drink with: Jon
x. You went to the movies: Jon
x. You went to the mall with: Amanda & Bo a long time ago...
x. Yelled at you: Catcher
x. Sent you an email: My Dad

HAVE YOU EVER???

x. Have you ever liked someone who hadn't like you?: Sure
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it? Everyday
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: no
x. Been to California: Yes
x. Been to Hawaii: No
x. Been to Mexico: Yes
x. Been to China: No but I'd like to go
x. Been to Canada: Yes
x. Danced naked: Usually clothed but everyday with Catcher
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day?: All the time, in fact I just called my grandpa regarding a dream I had about him two nights ago
x. Do you have a crush on someone: My husband
x. What book are you reading now: I wish I could say that I had time to read, I got the new Vonnegut for Christmas but haven't had a moment to start it, maybe I should read instead of doing this garbage
x. Worst feeling in the world: Helplessness
x. Future son's name: Not that far ahead yet...I really like Roark
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Sometimes if the boy leaves 'em in the bed
x. What's under your bed: Tons of leftover wedding invitations that I can't bear to throw out cuz they are to awesome
x. Favorite sport to watch: Snowboarding or Surfing
x. Siblings: Andy, Matt, & Jon
x. Location: Home
x. College plans: None, although I am thinking about taking a painting class
x. boyfriend/girlfriend: I am married to my boyfriend

EXTRA STUFF

x. Do you do drugs: No
x. Do you drink: Wine or Vodka
x. What are you most scared of: Our government and the future of our democracy
x. Where do you want to get married: If I had to do it again, on my family's farm in Italy with chickens running around like crazy.
x. Who do you really hate: Not a big fan of GWB but I can honestly say I do not believe in hate in a shape in any form...
x. Been in Love: Yes Yes Yes
x. Do you drive: Yes
x. Do you have a job: Hells Yeah, hardest job I've ever had in my entire life
x. Do you like being around people: Some people, my friends, my fam, my hubs...

STUFF

x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: Yeah..def
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go for? I used to go for substance abusers...now I just go for one type: Executive Chef, Wine Drinker, Looks Kinda like Ewan McGregor when his beard is grown in.
x. Want someone you don't have right now: Nope
x. Are you lonely right now: Yes...Jonny's opening a new restaurant in Brooklyn and I have seen him for like three hours this week.
x. Song thats sticks in your head a lot: Stupid Noggin songs
x. Do you want to get married: Already am
x. Do you want kids: I have one...maybe another sometime

FAVORITE

x. Room in house: My living room is awesome, I have a wall of 15 ft high windows that look out into Park Slope. Not so bad for $2500/month
x. music: Math Rock
x. Band(s): Too many to list...
x. Color: Blue
x. Perfume or cologne?:Narcisso Rodriguez
x. Month: June
x. Stone: Crab YUMMM

IN THE LAST WEEK, HAVE YOU

x. Cried: A little
x. Bought something: Yes last thing I bought was sushi and I am about to buy some right now for din din
x. Gotten sick: Nope
x. Sang: Italian Kiddie Songs today with the boy
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: Yes and I did!
x. Met someone new: Yes...those Chefs at the event I went to on Monday...Tom Colichio, etc...
x. Missed someone: Every day I miss AMK and my dad and bro and grandpa and grandmama
x. Hugged someone: Vito gets all my huggin
x. Kissed someone: Yes Catch Jon Vito Potato

F A V O R I T E S

Foods: Jonathon's
girls name: Lake
Boys names: Catcher, Orsen, & Roark
Subjects in school: Art
Animals: Doggies...pitbulls

H A V E Y O U E V E R ????

Given anyone a bath? Every Night
Smoked?: Yes luckily I have been able to quit!
Bungee jumped?: Not a fucking chance
Made yourself throw up?: Yes, in college, I had some rough days...
Ever been in love?: Yes, didn't really know what love was until I reconnected with my husband...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Many times
Cried when someone died? Hysterically
Fallen for your best friend?: At one point in time I thought I had feelings for him but now that I look back on it...
Done something you regret?: Yep

W H O D O Y O U W A N N A???

Kill?: No one
Slap?: Sometimes I like to slap JS around...j/k...i kid...i kid
Get really wasted with?: I love getting wasted with Amanda, Candice too, they both get ultra cute and AK gets a baby voice and CCC gets super lovey...I miss my ladies!!!
Sex it up with: Jon

R A N D O M BS

In the morning I: drink coffee, feed the boy, get ready for the day
I dream about: sex
Playing with: my computer
What do you notice first in the opposite sex? Face or Eyes

W H O???

Makes you laugh the most: Jon cracks me up when he gets going
Makes you smile: My baby Boy

D O Y O U E V E R ??

Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: Not a fucking chance. I don't even know what the f im is.
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: No
Wish you were younger: I wish my body was younger
Cried because someone said something to you?: Sure, what girl hasn't especially in high school.

I just woke up to the smell of cinnamon burning. Not a good smell. For some reason, our normally very potent stem heater has not been turning on. This morning before work, Jon put four pots on our little stove. One had cinnamon, the other oranges. The apartment heated up and smelled yummy all at the same time. At about 10.30 Catcher fell asleep, as did I. I woke up about 15 minutes ago (11.00) to that fabulous smell. Jon's pan is burned and our house smells gross. At least the boy slept through it all.


Last night Jon and I went to a Chef event and I got totally starstruck after meeting Tom Colicchio. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is the judge and creator of Top Chef. I don't know why I got all cheesy, maybe b/c I just started watching the show with Jon and I really like it. I feel like I am actually gaining a little bit of insight into my husband's world by watching the show. So anywho, I was so gay and couldn't stop 'big' smiling, you know the joker smile, that was me times 5. Thank god but I don't think he even noticed. He was to busy looking for the previous Top Chef winner Herald, who was also there. Whatever.

The space that the event was held at was really cool. It was a test kitchen for these appliances called Electrolux. Very awesome appliances. I mean top of the line bad ass kitchen stuff and it all had that really cool touch screen blue lighting. All in all though it was actually very boring and I was the only widow there. It was all a bunch of dudes or chefs or agents. Yuck. I just couldn't resist going, I mean they picked us up in a Caddy and shoved champagne and caviar down our throats. Who's gonna pass on that?

Did I forget to mention that so far out of every event related to food that I have been to this past year, my husband is no doubt the best looking Chef out there? For a minute I thought Sam (Top Chef) was cute but his personality ruined that for me~ My Jonny's got him beat.

I think that it may be time for my husband to open up his own restaurant.

Growing up I would have to say that I had the best grandparents known to man or woman. They were the epitome of what every child could possibly want in a grandparent or parent for that matter. My grandma is gone now but my grandpa is still here and for that I am so grateful. Every time I see him, I see my grandma who I miss dearly everyday. My grandma was an amazing woman. She was a matriarch. She was independent when women were not supposed to be independent. She was my mother, not by birth but by love. When I hated my parents and couldn't take the fighting for much longer, she was my escape. She made it all better. When I was scared or depressed all I needed was to see her face and hear her voice and I knew that life would eventually work itself out. It has been almost four years since her awful battle with pancreatic cancer ended and I still cannot let her go, nor do I want too. I talk to her every day. I pray to her when I fly on an airplane and eventually I will have a tattoo of her on my arm in her wedding dress (which she would totally hate). Losing someone who means the world to you can ultimately change your destiny. When my grandmother got sick, Jonathon and I began to reconnect. We began to speak on the phone every night. When she died his mom came to her funeral. At the time I thought it was odd, but know I know that she was meant to be there. She had to meet the most important women in my life. After she died, I gave up everything. I said Fuck You to everything that surrounding me. Everything but Jonathon. I left school in January, six months had passed, and I moved to New York City. I had $92 in my purse.
Little did I know that my grandmother's passing would ultimately lead me to the birth of my son and the beginning of my family. She had to leave this earth so Catcher could arrive. It is an odd theory for someone who has a very hard time with religion but I really do believe that is what happened.

Shit, now I am a mess. Good thing I have Potato to lick the tears off of my face.

Anyways that being said; now that I have my own son and he has grandparents of his own, I find myself pitting them against each other in my head. I compare, I make notes, I summarize. Who is the better grandparent? Who loves Catcher more? It is unfair and judgemental but it is my son that we are dealing with and he deserves the best.

I have only spoken about one of my sets of grandparents because the other set died when I was young. I didn't know them well. Although I know my Pope had a liking of the vodka, somewhat like myself. When I see grandparents I never see them. Although a Dolly Parton-Kenny Rogers song remind me of my granny when I hear, yes it is on my iTunes. Back to the judging thing, I guess my issue is ultimately my father. I want him to be someone he used to be before he married his new wife. Things have changed drastically between us and I cannot only blame him. He is different but I am different as well. I just want him to stand up for me and what I have become. I want him to be proud of my family. He loves Catcher, I know this for sure, he may even love him more than me, which is completely understandable. I have been an asshole for the majority of my time I spent with him. I guess I just have a problem with how they react to our life here in New York. They do not approve and they never hesitate to tell us so in their own words. As a parent I firmly believe that issues like that must be put aside and the relationship between child and grandparent must be the priority. They have come to see us once and the only reason they came was because my father had a convention in the city. In Florida I felt like they did not offer once to take the boy or hang out with him. I had to force it upon them. That is not how I believe it should be. However this is how it may be with them. I have to realize that they are not going to be my grandparents. And that makes my so sad. I want my boy to have the same phenomenal experience that I had with my own grandparents. Maybe in time things will change.



Man I wish my grandma was here to talk this one out. Fuck the Internet.

Apparently, it's National De-Lurking Week. It's time to show your face or at least your words. Leave a comment, say hi, tell me what an idiot I am! What eve- just stop lurking around and de-lurk yourself! I'm one to talk, I think I probably read about ten blogs a day and I think I have commented about 5 times in my entire life. Lame-O!

It is so cold outside today. Just when I thought we might skip over winter. Bummer. Being back in New York has been great so far, however I am starting to freak out about being inside constantly. I think that I am going to sign Catcher up for swim classes. They are pretty cheap, compared to his Gymboree & Conservatory classes. It would get us out of the house and I will pretty much pay anything for that. The husband is thinking about doing a couple consulting jobs which would be great and not so great. He would make good $$$ upfront which we desperately need because we overspent at Christmas and went crazy in Florida. The downisde would be his hours. He would be working double for the most part and I would really not be seeing him at all except for his days off. Guess it just means I'll start painting again.

Speaking of painting, Jon, Catch, & I visited the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersuburg, we were amazed and I was humbled. I have been there quite a few times, he has never, yet the museum had changed so much that I felt like I had never stepped foot in the place. It was awesome seeing his four masterpieces up close and personal, but the really great part was all his other works up close. His brush work was so detailed, small, and articulate that it is hard to believe it was created by a man. Jon actually saw a print that he thinks he is going to turn into a tattoo.

Update! I just searched for a pic of what he wants and I found that it was used on The Descent (awesome!!!!!) movie poster. Hmmm, wonder if he will still want it. It's kind of strange that we watched The Descent a couple days before The Dali Museum. BTW, The Descent is the best movie I have seen since Thank You For Smoking. If you like scary f'ng movies, The Descent is for you!

My husband NYE at around 3am. We didn't get home till 4. WTF? I haven't stayed out that late since before the boy was born. We were toasty too, and the next day had to brunch it with his parents. I may or may not have gotten super sick in the bathroom at Bubby's. I'll never tell....

Parea is nominated for best Med restaurant on Citysearch. I voted and now it is your turn:

Click HERE to vote for my man's restaurant.



Vote!!!

It has been a tumultious week of traveling and we have finally arrived back in NYC. Lucky for us the mysterious smell is gone and it's not THAT cold. Ihave tons of shit to do today, and that includes updated the blogs, laundry, working out, grocery shopping, etc etc. Not fun but gotta be done. Hopefully tonight I will be back up and running.